IT. There was a time when we all knew perfectly well what IT meant. Now, it covers a gamut of experiences, many of which you might not even know have a name. It’s a scary time to be raising a teenager, and a very difficult time to raise a pure one.
I hope you’re having regular conversations with your teens about how to handle the things she/he will and probably has faced. Temptations and peer pressure are very real and very difficult to combat without a lot of advanced preparation.
To help with that preparation, I’m going to be doing a series of sexuality-focused Hot Buttons posts that will go live at least once per month and will get a bit more specific. I hope you’ll use them to steer some great conversations with your kids.
Now, in true HOT BUTTONS fashion, tell your teen this story as though it’s really happening to him/her:
You’re at a party and people are making out all over the place. It’s kind of uncomfortable, yet interesting. Your date seems to like what’s happening, too. You guys find a quiet corner and start to kiss. It’s nothing you haven’t done before, so you’re not worried. At least not until things start to progress. Hands start to rove, the kisses get more heated. What do you do?
Present the following choices to your teenager:
- You’re treading on new territory, but you like it. You’ll see what happens but keep your guard up.
- You say you have to go to the bathroom and excuse yourself, hoping when you return things will have cooled off.
- You tell your date you’re uncomfortable and ask that you go somewhere else.
- You go home and talk this over with a parent.
Now let your teen make a choice between the responses without feeling judged or directed. You want the response to be as honest as possible.
Here are some discussion points you can use to lead the conversation after the choice is made:
- Nothing is really done in secret.
- Once you start down that physical path, it’s so hard to go back.
- You have no idea when the physical temptation and desire will become too much to fight.
- When in doubt, just say no.
- Discuss appropriate physical boundaries.
- Always be ready to talk about why you and your family have boundaries like that in place.
- Use this as an opportunity to share your faith in God and why your purity is important to you.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body….You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:18, 20)
