I remember when I first found out that I was pregnant as a teen. The hardest thing I had to face was telling my parents. Thankfully my mom and stepdad handled it pretty well. There was sadness, worry, and even anger, but their reaction wasn’t as bad as other girls’ parents. I’ve heard of some of them getting kicked out of the house, and of screams and rants. Some never have a good relationship with their parents after that.
Most parents settle down (calm down), but their hurtful words remain. It’s hard enough dealing with a teen pregnancy, but trying to deal with parents, too, can be an added burden.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget parents are human. Through your growing up years they mess up and hope you don’t see. But when they blow it big, and react out of anger and frustration, sometimes their emotions are a huge wall between you and them.
It’s natural if during this time to feel regret—you wished you hadn’t disappointed them. It’s also natural to feel hurt. Even though you find yourself pregnant every kid wants his or her parents’ love to be unconditional. And while you may want to hold a grudge sometimes the best thing you can do to bring healing to your relationship is to take the first step.
Here are three perfect gifts you can offer:
- Understanding. Tell your parents that you understand their reaction. Tell them you probably would react the same way if it was your kid who was having a baby. Remind your parent that nobody is perfect…not even close.
- Grace. Wait until the difficult moment passes, and later offer a hug to break the tension. Tell your parent that it must be hard having his/her role.
- Ask your parents for advice on how to best care for this child. Your parents react BIG because they know your future will never be the same. Ask for advice on parenting or adoption, let your parents know that you don’t want to have to face this journey alone.
Your parents will get emotional during other times in your pregnancy…guaranteed. It won’t be easy for them to see you have to make adult decisions when you still have so much growing up to do, but when the temptation will be to see your parents as an enemy, instead remember that the journey you face will be easier with them by your side.
Have you been through this already? What advice can you offer to a pregnant young girl about her relationship with her parents?