What are Hot Buttons?
Well, in the broader sense, the phrase Hot Buttons means a lot of different things, anything really, that can get a rise out people. Something that charges them up and receives an intense reaction. For the purposes of Choose NOW Ministries, I’ve defined hot buttons as those tough issues that teenagers face–the things parents are often more afraid of and most hesitant to talk about.
Some examples include:
- Drugs
- Alcohol
- Sex
- Friendships
- Racism
- Internet Activity
- Faith Matters
- Divorce
- Dating
- Bullying
- Occult
- and more
Why press the Hot Buttons?
Why not just leave it alone and let the kids figure it out? We can pray for them and trust it all to work out in the end. In some ways it does work itself out, true. Circumstances happen, pressure hits, relationships change. . .and your teens gets to figure it all out. In the heat of the moment. On their own. Hopefully they’ll make the right choice, but it’s really hard to know what will happen when the prep work isn’t done.
Take an issue like dating–we talk about the boundaries. We set rules for curfew and other things. We even make sure we apprrove of the date and talk about saying no to sexual advances. Right?
And that’s great. It really is. But there’s something missing. Our teens need to know what to do and what not to do, and what we expect of them, but they also need to understand why that’s going to be difficult for them. How does the body respond in ways that make it tough to say no? What will the feelings be like that make it difficult to leave the room or douse the proverbial flames?
You see, if we don’t hit those truth head on before they become an issue, our teens will think it’s a secret, it’s specific to them, and we really don’t know what we’re asking them to say no to. But, if we press those hot buttons in advance, if we have the difficult conversations, then our teens will enter those pressure-filled situations armed with understanding and equipped with the words to say to stay true to their commitments.
With every hot button issue, someone is feeding your tweens and teens information–do you really want that someone to be anyone other than you?
How do I press the Hot Buttons?
Now that you’ve made the decision to be proactive about helping your tweens and teens battle peer pressure, I love to share three tips you can apply as you take the first step.
1. Just do it. Let’s face it, it’s going to be awkward to have a conversation about the specifics of sexuality. It’s not going to be fun to talk about inhalants, alcohol, and other drug use. It’s going to induce squirms for everyone as you bring up the subject of pornography. But you need to just do it. Just have the first conversation–it’ll get easier from there. As you think about the things you need to cover, take a look as the aspects of the issues that you’d most like to avoid. That’s probably a good place to start.
2. Ignore the Eyerolls. Yes, everyone knows that teenagers will resist being put through conversations about things that make them uncomfortable. It’s an inevitability, but it will get easier over time. That’s actually why I designed the Hot Buttons book series. You’ll find that it makes the squirm factor far less of an issue because they involve fictional scenarios that allow your teen to explore choices and discuss outcomes in a safe, non-intrusive way.
3. Be intentional. Plan ahead and be intentional about the topics you bring up and when. Make these hot button discussions a regular part of your week. Intentionally explore each issue from many different angles. The Hot Buttons books offer scripting to help you cover up to fifteen various aspects of each issue.
I encourage you to read through some of the Hot Buttons posts here on this site as you get started, then pray that God would guide you as you lead your teenagers boldly through the Hot Button issues they face on a daily basis. The first two Hot Buttons books: Dating Edition and Internet Edition release on June 1st and are available for pre-order. They will lead you through the issues, help you bathe the situations in prayer, and guide you and your teens into forgiveness and a clean slate.
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Hi Nicole!
I love that you are addressing this issue with parents. So often we trust the public school system to be talking about what we are uncomfortable discussing withour children. We need to be very aware of just what it is that they are telling. So often the values there are NOT the values we are trying to instill in the children. I know because one of my sons has walked away from God after buying into the lie the homosexuality is an acceptable alternate lifestyle. This is not what we taught in our home, and we are seeing this happen to more and more young people raised in the Church but attending public schools.
Parents, please pay attention and don’t be afraid to talk to your teens about the hard issues. The heart break is heavy and takes a long time to heal.
God bless your ministry Nicole. May you bear much fruit.