Take back your stolen crown

By: Laura L. Smith

Pretty Pretty Princess, crown, true beauty, laura l smith

Have you ever played the board game, Pretty Pretty Princess? The premise of the game is to move around the board collecting pieces of plastic jewelry in your designated color. If you are purple, you try to get the purple earrings, ring, necklace, and of course, The Crown. Got it? As the description on Amazon says, “ The goal of the game is to be decked out in full princess regalia. There is only one crown, and it can be picked off the royal brow of some other would-be princess.” Meaning, you might have the chance to steal THE CROWN from another player.

Pretty Pretty Princess, crown, true beauty, laura l smith

Has your crown been stolen?

Someone knocked mine right off my head last week. I wasn’t expecting it. I was in a friendly conversation, and then, BAM! The other person gave me a verbal blow that knocked my virtual crown, my self-esteem, right off my head. Over the past week friends have shared with me how their crowns have recently been stolen. Here are a few examples:

  • my boyfriend broke up with me — via text
  • I overheard some friends planning a movie night, only they didn’t invite me
  • my mom is more concerned about her next drink, date, party than me
  • my sister completely ignores me when she’s with her friends
  • even though I studied like crazy, I failed my exam
  • my dad abuses me
  • I got cut from the team


Any of these sound familiar?

Maybe you’re dealing with something else all together. But the world will try over and over again to steal the crown that Christ has placed on our heads. To Jesus, we are all His princesses, His beautiful creations. He loves us. In His eyes we are all worthy of wearing the most spectacular crowns, the ones He has designed especially for us.

But stuff happens. And our crowns get dented and knocked askew. Some of the jewels fall out and sometimes our crowns get stolen right off of our heads.

Pretty Pretty Princess, crown, true beauty, laura l smith

So, what do we do?

Take them back.

Not take them from someone else, but reclaim what is rightfully ours. Reclaim the privilege and honor of Christ’s love. We can’t allow a cute boy, or a parent with baggage, or a snide comment, or someone not recognizing our talent make us feel like less than what we are. Because we are perfect in His sight. All of us. Even me. Even you.

When someone rejects us it stinks. It’s sticky. It stings.

But we don’t have to let it.

How do we take our crowns back? Remind ourselves of truths.

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them. Genesis 1:27-28

Take those words and roll them around your tongue like a warm mocha. God created us in His image. To be just like Him. And then He blessed us? How can that be anything but gorgeous? How do you get rid of the sting? Do something that cancels it out.

Do not linger on social media comparing yourself to others. It’s not healthy to stalk the friends who went to the movie without you, pester your sister or gossip about the girl your boyfriend dumped you for. It’s time to move forward and remind yourself who made you.

Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  Phil 3:13-14.

Jesus wore a crown of thorns for you and for me.

Paul doesn’t tell the Philippians to get invited to the coolest parties, have the hottest boyfriend, shoot the most baskets, make honor roll or get the lead in the play. Nope. He just suggests we keep our eyes on Christ.

Because when we stay focused on Jesus, we can see how much He loves us. We can see that He died for us. He wore that crown of thorns for me and for you. And, there’s no way the King of the Universe would have done that unless He found us loveable and lovely.

I got my crown back. First I prayed, long and hard, and let God’s warm love roll around my heart, just like that mocha. Then, I went for a run. A fast one. With music blaring in my earbuds. Not just any music, but Christian music loaded with truths. I ran and I ran until it was just me and God whispering in my ears how much He loves me, how He’ll always be with me, that He’s got me covered. And I can’t promise that I won’t remember the hurtful words or feel a twinge now and then or get frustrated about the situation this conversation put me in. But I do promise that I will fight again and again to keep my crown where it belongs. Where God placed it.

What does your crown look like?

What does your crown look like?

You need to start with prayer, with talking with your maker. But after that, how else can you reclaim your crown? You could hang out with someone you know loves you unconditionally. I call my mom or hug one of my kids. Dogs are great for this. They come running up to you and snuggle you and listen to every word you say. You could buy yourself something that makes you feel beautiful – a killer pair of designer jeans from the consignment shop for $19.99 or colored bobby pins from the dollar store. You know yourself best. What makes you happy? What satisfies your soul? Crafting? Volunteering? Baking?

It’s time to take back your stolen crown.

I’d love to hear how you plan to do it.

  • Laura L. Smith
    laura l smith, true beauty, self esteem, body image,

    Laura L. Smith writes real stories and speaks about real issues for real girls to give them a voice, a sounding board, a place to start. Her young adult novels include Skinny, Hot, Angry, It's Complicated and It's Over. She is featured as a columnist on Choose Now www.nicoleodell.com writing about true beauty and on the Playlist Fiction blog www.laurasmithauthor.com. She has spoken to multiple sororities, college classes, high schools, youth groups and Bible studies. For more info on her speaking schedule, resume and video clips visit http://www.laurasmithauthor.com/speaking.html


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