I say that all the time, don’t I? It’s in my email signature. I sign off my many of my radio shows with that line–if I can stop talking before the music cuts me off, that is–and I tailor most of my messages to the topic of choices. Decision making. Wisdom. Patience. Confidence. It all works hand-in-hand.

So what do I mean by that? What choices am I talking about?

Well, you tell me? I mean, what comes to mind when I say, “It’s all about choices?” Am I talking about selecting the perfect pair of jeans or choosing a career path? While I agree, they are both life-altering decisions, what I’m referring to are the choices you make that impact your reputation, your walk, your faith.

When I say, it’s all about your choices, what tweaks at your conscience or pricks at your heart?

You see, I believe that the importance of good decisions follows us throughout our entire lives, and we never grow out of the need for Godly wisdom. So it’s a very individual thing to determine where you’re at on your journey and what choices God is speaking to you about at this moment.

Rather than posting a list of do’s and do not’s, I’d rather talk to you about the general idea of how to know what to do when, and then how to find the strength to do it.

Philippians 4:8 ESV

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Ah, there it is. That’s how you know. When you’re battling temptation or you’re struggling with a decision and just don’t know what to do, that’s how you can know the right choice and then make it.

10 Ways to Know You’re Making the Right Choice

1. The True Choice

Which choice allows you to remain true to yourself? Which direction keeps you squarely in God’s hand, living according to His will, and upholds the commitment you’ve made to righteousness. It’s very seldom that there will be more than one choice that meets all of those parameters without asking for compromise in one or more areas.

2. The Honorable Choice

Honor is such a great thing to reach toward. It’s not always easy, in fact, being honorable often asks that you make difficult sacrifices. There is cost to honor, and those willing to pay that price will reap the rewards of those good choices.

3. The Just Choice

Does the choice send a message of fairness and putting others first. If your choice involved stepping on someone else in order to get ahead, it might not be the right decision to make. The world says for you to look out for number one and step all over others to get what you want. Jesus says to make choices with a sense of balance and to be just and fair.

4. The Pure Choice

A godly choice will keep you pure and undefiled from sin. God’s grace covers our mistakes, but still He calls us to make choices that set apart from the world. Pure.  This word conjures the image of a bride dressed in white, pirouetting it the mirror as she prepares to meet her groom. She has no shame in that moment.

5. The Lovely Choice

If purity makes me think of a bride, then the word lovely brings to mind a little girl playing dress-up. She’s beautiful and joyful of spirit, and she is playful and kind. If one of your choices is dark and lonely, it is not lovely. Run the other direction.

6. The Commendable Choice

Ask yourself: Is there anything about this choice that would make my parents proud? That would make God proud? That would make me proud of myself? If  you’d want your choice to be kept private, if there’s any shame or fear attached to the option, go the other way. Chase the choice that will make others shout your strength and determination from the rooftops, so then you can give all glory to God.

7. The Excellent Choice

Not “good enough” or “it’ll do for now.” No! You’re a child of the King. You have the right and the responsibility to run hard after excellence. That means doing the hard work to make that possible. Equip yourself by preparing yourself, planning ahead, and positioning yourself. God will present the opportunities, you do the excellent things!

8. The Praiseworthy Choice

Why is it important to make choices that are worthy of praise? Are we only looking for personal glory? No. Matthew 5:16 says, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in Heaven.” If you act worthy of praise, and you point to your Father as the reason, then He gets the praise.

 9. The Valuable Choice

If you’re choosing between two things and one of them is clearly rooted in God’s will and His eternal work, and the other is rooted in temporary things of the world that will rust and fade, choose life.

10. The Challenging Choice

Trust me; I know. It’s still not easy for me all the time, and I don’t think it ever will be perfectly simple. God wants our obedience as though it’s a sacrifice to Him. It’s the simple fact that it’s not easy to do the right thing all the time that makes it so valuable.

James 1:2-5 says:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

You’re not alone. You don’t have to figure it out alone. But you do have to choose now that you’re willing to do the tough things. You have to realize that it’s not always easy to make the right choices–and that it’s okay to suffer for doing good sometimes. That’s what makes it valuable to God, and to your own life and the lives of those who see what you do.

If you have need for help regarding a specific choice or problem, you can contact me–or even post it here so others might chime in to help you out. 

For this first post in the On Choices column, I thought it would be helpful to talk about times we’ve wished we could press a rewind button and go back to the moments before a choice was made.

If only.

We already have a column here at Choose NOW MInistries called On Reinventing Yourself, so I’m not going to spend a whole lot of time talking about developing a good reputation or about changing a bad one to good. Rather, I’m going to focus on one very crippling word:

Regret.

There are many types of regret, but let’s take a look at two of them.

1. Big-picture Regret

This is what people lament on their death beds. When they look back over their lives, they name these biggies as lifetime regrets. The saddest thing is that this kind of regret has little opportunity for change because the particular stage of life has passed. There’s nothing to be done about time with the kids when they’re grown. There’s no way to go back and spend more time playing, once the playtime is passed.

Some examples are:

• “I wish I would have spent less time at the office.”
• “I regret that I didn’t do more good for other people.”
• “I wish I’d played harder and worked less.”
• “I regret not spending more time with my family.”

As a teenager, you’re in a great position because you have plenty of time to live in a way to avoid and/or minimize big-picture regrets by planning ahead and taking inventory of your choices on a regular basis.

2. Immediate regret

This is the kind of gut-wrenching regret you feel when you know right away you made a mistake. You know the feeling…when you regret doing or saying something that has short-term or instant impact like:

• Saying something hurtful whether unintentionally or even intentionally
• Caving under peer pressure
• Telling a lie or misrepresenting someone
• Blowing off a friend
• Missing an opportunity to reach out to someone in need

If you read back over those lists, you’ll see they all have one thing in common. The foundation for each of those regrets, and any others you can think of, is rooted in choice. We each have the power to choose to live above regret. That means choosing to do the right thing in the first place, and then chooinge to forgive yourself and reject regret when you do make mistakes.

Living with regret is damaging. Not only does it cripple you from moving forward, but it limits what you’re able to learn from your mistakes and what you’re able to teach others.

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Phil 3:13-14, NIV)

Is our goal as a Christian to be perfect? Or is to learn from mistakes, use them for God’s glory, and press on in our calling in Christ? Every single one of us has many things we’ve regretted over the years. It’s in finding the grace to accept God’s forgiveness and then to forgive ourselves that the growth and character development happens.

What regrets do you need to surrender to God today? What commitments do you need to make to avoid the need to face regret?