Jenna wrote: My mom is always on me about what I wear. I just don’t see why it should matter to her. I mean, she got to wear the things she wanted to wear when she was young–the styles are different now, though. She won’t let me wear any shirts that show even a fraction of my stomach and I have to actually bend over in jeans to prove to her that nothing shows in the back, if you know what I mean. She even says there’s stuff in the Bible about the way to dress right. Is that true? What should I do to change her mind?

Emily answered: I can understand that you’d want her to change her mind, but maybe she’s right. Maybe she’s just looking out for what’s best for you. It’s possible that, in a couple of years, when you’re older, you will both agree more about the things you want to wear. I don’t always agree with my parents, but I always know that they only want what’s best for me.

 

Natalie replied: Wearing what other people think is cool shouldn’t be your main goal. Your mom is right to be concerned–she might just want to keep you from growing up too fast. I’m sure she’s just caring extra hard to make sure you don’t turn into someone you’ll regret one day. Also, when you dress a certain way, people expect you to act a certain way that goes along with that appearance. I’m sure your mom wants to help you stay strong in your actions as well as what you wear.

 

Nicole said: Well, you asked about what the Bible says about it, so here you go:

I TIMOTHY 2:8-10: “I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting; in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for women professing godliness with good works,”

It’s not the braids or the pearls specifically that matter there, it’s talking about what society deems as modest and what is proper and upright for a Godly woman.

Here’s another:

PROVERBS 11:22: “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”

God made you beautiful and it’s a shame to not let that beauty shine. When you’re indiscreet, it’s like saying you’re not worth protecting, not beautiful, not special.

Let me ask you, whose attention do you hope to get by dressing immodestly? Let’s be honest…you’re seeking the attention of boys, right?

MATTHEW 5:27-28: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a women to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

ROMANS 14:13: “Let us not judge one another anymore but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.”

Jenna, your mom’s right. I commend her for protecting your virtue by trying to keep you from doing things or making decisions you don’t fully understand, yet. Hang in there…the teenage battles aren’t fun, I understand that. Consider Emily’s advice and try to give your mom the benefit of the doubt before lashing out at her with defensiveness.

Girl Talk is a regular feature at www.nicoleodell.com. Do you have questions? You can post them here or email me at nicole <@> nicoleodell <dot> com.

(this is a repost)

Emily: I would say that you and your brother can work it out, take turns and share. Whoever wins a game can choose the next one. You need to be able to share with each other even if it’s a pain sometimes.

You should probably just tell your friend’s dad you already have a Wii and thank him for thinking of you but let someone else benefit from his gift.