Are you satisfied with your home life? Or do you want to find ways to make this coming year way better than last year in your home? Take a look at these ten steps, ten things you can do to have an incredible impact on your family. 

(This was the topic of Teen Talk Radio on 1/5/12. The show is available on mp3 or on iTunes.)

1. Be a Model

Are you being the kind of friend and family member you want others to be? Are you treating others like you want to be treated? These teen years are usually a pretty moody time, but it’s important to do your best to control your words and actions.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12 

2. Pray Together

I’m not talking about saying grace at dinner–that’s great, but there’s more to a good prayer life in the home. When’s the last time you prayed for your family members. . .out loud. . .in their presence? Yes, I know, it feels awkward to pray with your mom and dad sometimes. But I promise, the more you do it, the easier it’ll be. It’s a really sad thing when families don’t pray together, and, even if you have to be the one to get the habit started, go for it!

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. Matthew 18:20

3. Be Consistent at Home, Church, and School

Who are you? Are you one person at home, one person at school, and another one at church? The only way to live an authentic life in Christ is to be yourself everywhere you go. Don’t live the extremes by being the perfect little Christian at Church and a rebel at school. Be honest about your faith and your struggles.

Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. John 17:7

4. Laugh Often

We talked about that typical teenage moodiness in number one, but let me ask you a question. Are you happy, joking, and teasing with your friends, but then you shut down the instant you walk through your home’s front door? You’ll probably blame that on your parents somehow, but if you’re reading this, then you’re old enough to take some responsibility for yourself. Don’t treat your family members worse than you’d treat your friends. Love your family, laugh with them. . .enjoy them. Let them be a blessing and a bonus in your life, not something you have to endure.

Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” Psalms 126:2

5. Communicate

I hear from so many teens who say they’d love to have better communication with their parents, but get shut out every time they try to open a heavy conversation. You know, I get how frustrating that must be. Sadly, though, your parents make mistakes, too. Can I ask a personal favor? Try again. And then again.

And, on the flip side, make yourself available to your parents when they want to talk, too.

A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Proverbs 17:27

6. XOXOXOXO

Have you hugged your parents today? I’m serious. Think about it. Do days go by where there is no physical contact from you? You might squirm at the thought, but it’s a scientific fact that your body craves touch, and so do your parents. Nothing you do can say, “I love you,” quite like a hug. Oh, except actually saying, “I love you.” Be sure to do that, too.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34

7. Be Generous

Generosity isn’t only giving money. It can involve time, talent, and other resources as well. True generosity of spirit involves putting the needs of others ahead of your own needs and wants.

What is the last act of kindness or charity your family has participated in or initiated? Why not find something you can do together and use it as a bonding experience with your family members.

One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. Proverbs 11:24-25

8. Go Unplugged

Yep. I’m going there.

What about a day of the week, or a weekend every month, where you turn off all forms of electronic entertainment in your home? This means no television, video games, computers, electronic games, etc. I promise, if you do this, numbers 2, 4, 5, and 10 will be far easier to accomplish because you’ll have much more #10! This has to be something the whole family supports, but how much more meaningful would it be if the idea came from you than from your parents. What a way to prove that you want to spend time with them.

 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you. . . 1 John 2:15

9. Experience True Joy

Joy is different than laughter or fun. It comes from deep within; it’s a gift from God. Do you take joy in your family members? Do you like them as well as love them? Are you truly thankful for them? If you’re in a rut where you’re bickering a lot or finding yourself annoyed with your mom and dad or siblings constantly, consider that the joy of the Lord may be missing in your family relationships. Don’t worry though, joy comes from God and He’ll gladly fill you up if you ask Him to.

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

10. Give Time

There is no substitute for time spent together.

Prove to your family members they are your number one priority and that you enjoy them by giving them quantity AND quality time. This might mean skipping a trip to the mall or a sleepover with your girlfriends. Or something even more valuable to you. Just know, your sacrifice will never be worthless.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

What can you add to this list? What make your home a happy one?

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