Lisa Wingate: On Empty Nesting

If you’re currently a parent of teenagers, the day is swiftly coming that you’ll have to stand back and watch as your bird takes flight.

That teenager will fly from your nest and head off to college, marriage, the military or something we haven’t even thought of, yet! Or, perhaps you’re a recent empty-nester with or without or other kids still at home. Whatever your current status, every parent will agree that the idea of empty nesting has pros and cons. During some of those dark days of parenting teens, the pros may seem to outweigh the cons–but it’s never an easy thing to let go.

This column will take a look at the realities of preparing both yourself and your teens for that soon-coming day.

I look forward to sharing from my own experiences, and to learning from yours!

About Lisa

Lisa Wingate is an award-winning journalist, magazine columnist, popular inspirational speaker and a national bestselling author of 16 books. Her first mainstream novel, Tending Roses, is in its fifteenth printing from Penguin Putnam. Tending Roses is a staple on the shelves of national bookstore chains as well as in many independent bookstores.

Lisa is one of a select group of authors to find success in both the Christian and mainstream markets, writing for both Bethany House, a Christian publisher, and NAL Penguin Putnam, in mainstream fiction. Her bestselling books have become a hallmark of inspirational southern fiction. Her works have been featured by the National Reader's Club of America, AOL Book Picks, Doubleday Book Club, the Literary Guild, American Profiles and have been chosen for numerous awards.

When not busy dreaming up stories, Lisa spends time on the road as a motivational speaker. Via internet, she shares with readers as far away as India, where her book, Tending Roses, has been used to promote women's literacy, and as close to home as Tulsa, Oklahoma, where the county library system has used Tending Roses to help volunteer mentors teach adults to read. Recently, the group Americans for More Civility, a kindness watchdog organization, selected Lisa along with Bill Ford, Camille Cosby, and six others, as recipients of the National Civies Award, which celebrates public figures who work to promote greater kindness and civility in American life.

On Empty Nesting: The Bright Side of Empty Nesting (You Mean There’s a Bright Side?)

It’s so rude, really. You pack on the pregnancy pounds for them, suffer through labor and delivery, feed them, diaper them, shop for just the right Easter outfits and Christmas presents, help with homework, dry tears, patch up skinned knees, ignore impending hypothermia and threat of heat stroke at sporting events, hand out free dating advice, endure driver’s training, sit up nights worrying, visit colleges, help with applications, stalk the mailbox waiting for acceptance letters…

And then they think they can just… LEAVE? Seriously? How is that fair? How can it be “the plan” that we hard working, devoted (and totally awesome I might add) parents end up all alone in empty houses, left only with the fading Field Day ribbons, the dusty sports trophies, the crispy construction-paper valentines, the dry rotted high school letter jackets, the closets full of clothes they no longer want?

It seems like such a dastardly scheme, such a cruel twist of fate. You put your body and soul into a job, and then Poof! Gone! At this point, I calculate that I’ve been mothering people more than half of my life. It’s instinct now. I know the power of these instincts. As a farm girl, I’ve seen them at work firsthand.… continue reading

On Empty-Nesting: When the Love Bird Flies the Coop

Shepherding Older Teens and Young Adults Through Breakups as you prepare for that Empty Nest

by Lisa Wingate

Ahhh… it’s that time of year again—the season for proms, spring cotillions, young men in dapper tuxedos and pretty girls in dresses that cost their parents a mint. There’s nothing sweeter than seeing your child in love and on top of the world. As parents, we revel in those moments when our young ones seem to be sailing effortlessly into adulthood—wildly blessed, floating ten feet off the ground, successful in life and love.

Wingatepensivegirl On Empty Nesting: When the Love Bird Flies the Coop

It only makes sense, doesn’t it? You’ve raised an exceptional human being. Who could fail to fall hopelessly in love with him or her? Who wouldn’t treasure the diamond that you and God have polished to a shine?

Sooner or later, someone won’t. Some thoughtless, heartless, totally immature and ridiculously blind person will cast your precious gem into the dirt, walk right over it, and move on, leaving you to help pick up the pieces. Every year after the lights of prom night dim or the spring college semester ends, the round of breakups begins, so this seemed like a good time to take on this issue.

As painful as teenage breakups are, breakups among young adults–those in the high school senior to college age range—are an entirely different animal.… continue reading

On Empty-Nesting: Letting Go Without Going Crazy

It’s funny that they call it “empty nesting” isn’t it? I’ve been watching birds all my life, and I guess the analogy makes sense in a way—one day you’re a little single bird, and then you’re swept off your feet by a nice little boy bird with appealing plumage. You build a cozy little nest together, lay a few eggs, end up with a hatchling that’s bald, funny looking, and noisy at first but gets cuter as it grows. You fall in love in an entirely new way, as you feed, protect, and shelter that tiny, helpless creature. You’d fight to the death for that precious little life you brought into this world.

Then one day you come home, and that special little someone… isn’t where you left him (or her, but we have man-child hatchlings in this nest). He’s toddling around the fringes, testing the perimeter, peering over the edge, looking up at the sky with a wistful gleam in his eye. In fact, he’s bursting from the confines of the nest in all directions. Outgrowing it in every possible way.

If you’re a bird at that point, you encourage Baby’s first flight, then you head south for the winter, take a vacation at Disney World, snatch leftover French fries from tourists before flying back north in the spring, laying a few more eggs, and starting the whole process over again.… continue reading

On Empty-Nesting

Lisa Wingate will be posting her thoughts on empty-nesting on the second Thursday of each month. I don’t know about you, but as a mom with one already out of the house, and five more left at home, I sure can’t wait to learn how to be better prepared!

Nicole… continue reading

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