Mary DeMuth: On Spiritual Warfare

When we were in the throes of diapers and sleepless nights, I thought parenting was hard. When we came alongside our kids and their activities in elementary school, I thought the frenetic pace would not end. When we moved overseas and tried to parent a teen and two elementary aged kids, I thought my brain and heart and will would explode.

And now we’re in the terrible (yet beautiful) teens and I’m once again convinced that parenting is hard.

It’s hard because each child is different. What “works” for one damages the other. How we talk to each must be modified, prayed over, and approached with sensitivity. Each child has different obstacles, stresses and challenges. And sometimes I’m just so tired to shape shift to the needs of my kids.

Parenting is hard because we don’t get a break from it. It’s that 24/7 job that never ends, that requires countless acts of selflessness and patience. I’m thankful for that because left to myself, I’d wane in the land of selfishness. Having to bend my will to others and choose to serve my kids is so good for my soul. Nonetheless sometimes it can be tiring.

Parenting is hard because we don’t automatically know the answers.… continue reading

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What do you do when your kids stray or disappoint you or head in a direction you wouldn’t have wanted? What if one fails a class? Or many? Or walks contrary to the way she’s been raised? We read Christmas letters full of seemingly perfect kids with awesome feats, and we think, I’m just trying to survive the teen years.

I’ve walked through this during several seasons of parenting. While I’d never uplift my parenting as perfect, I have learned a few things, particularly in retrospect, the first being the need for me to divorce my reputation from my kid’s behavior. Whether they act out or not, I am still wildly loved by Jesus. While I should always be striving to grow as a parent, I can’t take on the mantle of believing that their negative behavior affects my standing before God or others.

So what’s a parent to do when a teen disappoints? 10 things.

1. Pray for your teen. This should be your first response, to lay your burden, your fears, your stress about your child at Jesus’ feet. Ask God what He wants to do in your child’s life in this situation.
2. Don’t rescue your child from the consequences of his sin.
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Sometimes when we encounter behavioral problems in our kids, we start forming opinions:

• It’s hormones.
• It’s Junior High’s fault.
• My child is walking through a selfish phase.
• She is trying to spread her wings by asserting her independence.
• She wants to rebel.

While many of these reasons could be in play for our kids’ recent tirades, remember that there can also be another reason: Spiritual Warfare.

If your child is stepping out in a new area of service, or standing against something painful at school, or choosing not to hang with disruptive friends, it could be that the recent drama in your house is spiritual warfare. Simply put: the enemy of our souls is hell-bent on our destruction. Remember, he came to steal, kill and destroy. He likes nothing better than to have our kids take money from our purses (stealing), drink to blaring excess (killing), or cut themselves (destroying).

Of course you’ll need to address the issues at hand with truth and grace. But also, don’t forget to fight on your knees for the sake of your children. Ask God to bring your child joy, discernment, and power. Pray with your child about what is bothering him/her, and pray with faith believing that Jesus will meet the deepest needs of your child.… continue reading

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This is only a test post for Mary DeMuth’s column, On Spiritual Warfare. Her first article will post on 2/25. Be sure to subscribe to the feed below so you don’t miss a thing.

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