Nicole O’Dell: On Choices

Here, at Choose NOW Ministries, it’s all about choices! Big or small, major or minor, there’s a moment before every decision, good or bad, when you can alter the course of your life. We want to empower you to make the decisions that will propel you forward into positive living and a right relationship with Jesus Christ.

In this column, which will post on the first Monday of each month, we’ll dive into topics like peer pressure, dating, purity, drugs, alcohol, popularity, your future, and anything else that might come up along the way.

To read about real choices that real readers are making, visit Girl Talk.

About Nicole

I’m a mom of six–including three-year-old triplets and the wife of one really cool guy! I’m the founder of Choose NOW Ministries, the host of Choose NOW Radio: Parent Talk and Teen Talk, and the author of a bunch of books. I love to get out among teens and parents when I speak at conventions, churches, conferences, etc. I also love a really good and long bike ride.

Avoiding Life’s “Uh-Oh” Moments…

I think back to the moments before the tattoo guy started his work on me many years ago. I sure wish I’d had a website like this or a resource like Scenarios for Girls books or Teen Talk Radio to remind me of how important and…um…permanent some choices are. I have a passion for helping teens prepare for the toughest decisions–things even more important than tattoos. I believe in confronting things head on rather than waiting until the peer pressure hits. My books, my talks and this website deal with tough issues, so be sure to check with your parents about the books you’re reading and let them know you’re here.

Reputation: You are what you do when no one is looking

No One Looking? By Nicole O’Dell

Those moments in life. . .you know the ones. When you have a costly choice to make and since no one’s looking it’s tempting to take the easy and more temporarily rewarding road.

Cheating on an important exam. You need this grade for college and the teacher stepped out of the room. Why not take a little peek at your neighbor’s paper?

Snatching a $20 from mom’s purse. She never knows how much is in there and you want to go to the movies. She’s napping, so why not just take it?

Look away from bullying. No one knows you know, so what are you supposed to do? Take a stand and have them turn on you? Why not just walk away and let someone else handle it?

Porn pop-ups. No one’s watching. Why not take a peek? It’s normal to be curious, right?

etc. etc. etc.

It’s easy to wear the persona of a good, honorable, Christ-like person when people are watching because the immediate reward of recognition and reputation are valuable to most Christians. But what about when the prying eyes are gone, no one is keeping track of your choices, and the temptations are hitting hard?… continue reading

10 Ways to Know You’re Making the Right Choice

I say that all the time, don’t I? It’s in my email signature. I sign off my many of my radio shows with that line–if I can stop talking before the music cuts me off, that is–and I tailor most of my messages to the topic of choices. Decision making. Wisdom. Patience. Confidence. It all works hand-in-hand.

So what do I mean by that? What choices am I talking about?

Well, you tell me? I mean, what comes to mind when I say, “It’s all about choices?” Am I talking about selecting the perfect pair of jeans or choosing a career path? While I agree, they are both life-altering decisions, what I’m referring to are the choices you make that impact your reputation, your walk, your faith.

When I say, it’s all about your choices, what tweaks at your conscience or pricks at your heart?

You see, I believe that the importance of good decisions follows us throughout our entire lives, and we never grow out of the need for Godly wisdom. So it’s a very individual thing to determine where you’re at on your journey and what choices God is speaking to you about at this moment.

Rather than posting a list of do’s and do not’s, I’d rather talk to you about the general idea of how to know what to do when, and then how to find the strength to do it.… continue reading

On Choices: Top Ten List of Gateway Sins

What are Gateway Sins?

Simply put, Gateway Sins are the easy wrongdoings that, though you know they’re wrong, don’t seem like such horrible things to do. It’s easy to justify the choice or rationalize the behavior, so you ease onto a path toward bigger things. They act as a gateway to those worse things. By starting smaller, it makes it easier to move on to the next level of bad choices.

Gateway Sins On Choices: Top Ten List of Gateway Sins

# 10. Disloyalty. When people trust you, but you let them down, even in small ways, you’re creating a sense of distrust. If you start off with small elements of disloyalty, it will lead to bigger things.

# 9. Laziness. Sleeping in now and then isn’t a bad thing-after all, you’re a teenager. Just be sure that you have ambition and spend a good amount of your time productively. Laziness now will be difficult to overcome when you go to college or enter the workforce.

# 8. Dishonesty. A little, white lie leads to a bigger cover-up lie. Eventually, you’ll become desensitized and begin lying about anything in oder to make things more convenient or to stay out of trouble.

# 7. Exclusivity. Exclusivity involves rejecting people that aren’t quite up to a certain standard.… continue reading

On Choices: 5 ways to beat Peer Pressure

Fighting Peer Pressure involves more than just saying NO.

1. Know your limits when battling peer pressure.

You know what they say, if you fail to plan, you’re basically planning to fail. In the case of the battle against peer pressure, you have some work to do in advance. It’s important to think about the temptations you know will pop up one day. Alcohol, drugs, sex, and a host of other choices you’ll be called upon to make. Think about those things. Study the Bible and pray to find out how God feels about them. Then, pre-determine what your boundaries are and commit to stay within them even in the face of the strongest peer pressure. For help, grab a parent and visit the 30-day Hot Buttons challenge together.)

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:13-14

2. Have prayer/accountability partners.

God made us relational beings, and all that means is that we need each other. We need to share hurts and shoulder each other’s burdens. Temptation to sin is one major burden of the Christian walk.… continue reading

The Shadowed Onyx: Character Interview, some reviews, and a FIVE-book Giveaway

shadowed onyx cover The Shadowed Onyx: Character Interview, some reviews, and a FIVE book Giveaway The Shadowed Onyx has been out for about a month and we’re in the middle-ish of a blog tour through the month of January. It’s true, there is a lot of darkness in The Shadowed Onyx, suicide, occult, ouija boards, and more… but trust me (and the reviewers) the light of hope shines brighter through the darkest moments. You’ll have to read it to see for yourself. Here are some links to some places where you can read some reviews and enter giveaways now:

Betsy St. Amant (On Good Girls columnist) said:

I love that Nicole openly tells in the author notes of the novel about her own experience as a teen at Teen Challenge. Her experience there clearly rings true and sincere in her novels in a way that other authors couldn’t even touch. Nicole KNOWS – and PRACTICES – what she’s preaching here, and the best part about it is that it doesn’t come off as preaching at all! I highly recommend any of Nicole’s YA novels for the teen in your life.

Laura Kurk (On Hollywood columnist) said:

What you could not find, until now, was a book that showed how irresistible the dark side is while also telling readers the hard
truth—this is a powerful world that should in no way be toyed with or treated as a joke.… continue reading

Break my heart for what breaks yours…

This is what’s on my heart today…

On Choices: How can a teenager stay motivated to read the Bible and pray each day?

Moms, Dads, do you have a hard time motivating your teens to read their Bibles or pray? Teens, do you seem to get distracted and detoured by anything and everything in the world rather than settle in for a quite time?

My girls and I have a deal. They earn their cell phone use for the day by reading one of the pages in any of their teen devotional books. After digesting what they read, they each come to me and explain the message and apply it to whatever’s going on in their lives.

Parents, you may think that sounds like bribery and hesitate to seemingly “force” your kids to reach out to God. You may wonder if it will have a sincere effect on them if it’s not borne from true desire. And teens, you might think it’s really unfair. But, honestly, my teens love this arrangement. Both have expressed to me that they appreciate the accountability and that it’s a great reminder to them each morning. For the first few days it was a chore for them, but after that, they looked forward to seeing what the Lord had to show them for that day.

From my perspective, it’s been amazing for several reasons:

1.… continue reading

Girl Talk: Piercing without permission, and other types of body modification

Brianna: Well, back in December I got my belly button pierced without my paremts permission. Later on they found out that I got it and they grounded me and everything. I wonder if that’s bad? And how would you as a mom react to that if one of your daughters did that?

Emily: Yes. I think it was wrong to do that without your mom or dad’s okay. They know more about what’s good for you and what’s okay for your body, so you should trust them. But even when you really, really want something and they say no, you should still obey them and respect their wishes. Since you already did it, you should honor them by taking it out and apologizing for disobeying their wishes.

Natalie answered: I have NO problem with piercings, tattoos, body modification, etc. I think it’s something that should be be up to the person. I don’t like when people go so far that their bodies are damaged, but I don’t have any problem with self-expression in moderate ways. For example, I’d love to get my cartilage pierced, and I’d consider a belly button piercing, too.

Even though I don’t have a problem with belly button piercing, I have to say that I disagree with the way you went about it.… continue reading

Poll: First Kiss

Public Opinion Poll Results

Do you think it was an appropriate age? If not, why not? What could have been done differently to keep you from early physical activity?

If you’re waiting until marriage, what is motivating you to make that choice? If you did wait until marriage or engagement, are you glad you did?

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

On Choices: When You Need A Rewind; Dealing With Two Types of Regret

For this first post in the On Choices column, I thought it would be helpful to talk about times we’ve wished we could press a rewind button and go back to the moments before a choice was made.

If only.

We already have a column here at Choose NOW MInistries called On Reinventing Yourself, so I’m not going to spend a whole lot of time talking about developing a good reputation or about changing a bad one to good. Rather, I’m going to focus on one very crippling word:

Regret.

There are many types of regret, but let’s take a look at two of them.

1. Big-picture Regret

This is what people lament on their death beds. When they look back over their lives, they name these biggies as lifetime regrets. The saddest thing is that this kind of regret has little opportunity for change because the particular stage of life has passed. There’s nothing to be done about time with the kids when they’re grown. There’s no way to go back and spend more time playing, once the playtime is passed.

Some examples are:

“I wish I would have spent less time at the office.”
“I regret that I didn’t do more good for other people.”
“I wish I’d played harder and worked less.”
“I regret not spending more time with my family.”

As a teenager, you’re in a great position because you have plenty of time to live in a way to avoid and/or minimize big-picture regrets by planning ahead and taking inventory of your choices on a regular basis.… continue reading

some books by Nicole, click to purchase

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