Stefne Miller: On Authenticity

Listen up!

By Stefne Miller

When my kids are home from school for any amount of time, whether it be Christmas break or spring break or summer, by the end, I’m ready to send them back. The fighting, the fits the mess – ugh! What I hate most is that I find myself having to raise my voice on a regular basis just to get their attention. It drives me crazy! Why can’t they just LISTEN UP when I talk in a normal “inside voice?” It’s infuriating.

How much do you enjoy screaming? Teens, do you enjoy yelling at your parents or siblings or friends to try to get a point across?  I would venture to guess that for most of you, loud communication wouldn’t be your first choice. Nice, polite conversations would be your chosen form of dialogue.

How do we respond when someone shouts at us? Do we listen up, or do we recoil or throw our arms up in defense? Maybe we even move further away from the person doing the shouting.

So why then do you think it is that we want God to scream at us? We want His communication with us to be BIG and OBVIOUS and LOUD!… continue reading

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By Stefne Miller

Chalk dust stung my eyes as I, yet again, erased part of the math equation in front of me. I could feel my heart rate increase as students left the chalkboard and another group took the spaces they had left empty. How many groups had come and gone since I had been standing there? Four, maybe five? The more nervous I was the more impossible it became to understand the math problem and I could feel the stares of my fellow students as they watched from behind and I struggled to contain my composure.

This prolonged visit to the chalkboard was becoming a daily event. What was worse? My teacher, “Mr. Mc D”, now always called me to the board in the first group because he knew that it would take the entire hour for me to work on one math problem. Many class periods would end without me ever getting an answer correct. Had I been left to complete the equation at my desk in peace, I was certain I could have finished it quickly and it would have been correct, but I was never given the option. It was obvious that the teacher had a sadistic side and this particular year I had become his target.… continue reading

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By Stefne Miller

“Christians Are the Problem, Not Christ”. Oh how true that is. We, the followers of Christ are such bad PR people that I can’t even believe he still let’s us do it. What we do in the name of God, in the name of love, in the name of service – can be downright disgusting.

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For my sixteenth birthday (many years ago) my parents bought me a completely refurbished Volkswagen Convertible Bug. It was adorable and I was completely in love with it. The pale paint finish stood out against the black canvas roof, which whenever possible remained in the open position. I was the envy of kids all over my school.

One day after cheerleading practice several friends and I packed into the car and headed home. I’m sure that we were talking wildly and I wasn’t paying any attention to my surroundings because after making it the majority of the way to the first drop off point someone pulled up next to me and started yelling: “Your car’s on fire!”

It was my belief that the person was playing a practical joke on me so I kept on driving. In return, they shrugged me off and drove away. Before long another car pulled up next to me and the passenger screamed out the window: “Your car is on fire!” I finally looked into the rearview mirror and witnessed black smoke covering the back window. After quickly pulling the car over to the side of the road my friends and I grabbed our pom-poms and jumped out of the bug.… continue reading

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I hate to admit it, but it’s true – I check out celebrity gossip websites, and I do it on a regular basis. I like to say that I do it as a matter of “research” but the reality is that I find it all interesting.

One thing that always amazes me are the photos of celebrities in the airport. I’m not so interested in the fact that they’re traveling as much as it’s all the baggage they take with them. I’m not sure how they get away with the two checked items or less thing, but they do. And, not only do they have a lot of baggage, it’s the expensive kind –Louise Vuitton (or however it is you spell it).

I see their baggage, then I think of mine. I have a completely mismatched set. Black suitcases mixed with red ones. The only thing they have in common is that they all have grey duct tape holding certain parts of them together. With a few, the wheels aren’t working correctly and with one another, the handle has completely fallen off. The one time I bought a new piece of luggage was when we went to Ethiopia to get our son Yohannes and when I picked it up, it had a huge rip in it.… continue reading

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By Stefne Miller

I’ve got a boo-boo – as my kids used to say when they were very little. I cut my thumb while making dinner Monday night. Sliced it on a bread knife while I was doing the dishes. It wasn’t one of those injuries where you don’t notice it right away. I knew the moment it happened and it started throbbing within seconds. You can relate right? You grab a paper towel or rag and put as much pressure on it as you can as it continues to bleed and hurt like heck.

Sadly, my husband wasn’t home to give me sympathy. So, I called my three sons in and told them what happened just so I could make sure that somebody else knew how much pain I was in. I mean let’s be honest here, it’s not worth the pain if you can’t get a little bit of sympathy out of it, right?

The boys acted interested for a total of 3.7 seconds before they scurried back to their bedrooms to play on their respective game systems and I was left alone standing in the kitchen with a bleeding finger that was still throbbing. What was worse? I still had to make dinner.… continue reading

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One night, just as I was going to bed, I went to check my e-mail on Yahoo and they had posted a photo of an all black penguin on their news page. It was one of the top stories of the day. A story of a penguin made the top stories list. Why?

Apparently it’s a very rare penguin. One in a zillion, according to the article. Wow! One in a zillion! Nobody has ever seen one! The article teased and said that he was very underdressed for a penguin (no tuxedo) and “look at those legs!” Evidently his legs are much thicker than your average penguin. Poor guy. Not only is he under dressed but he’s also got fat legs – sometimes I can relate!

We tend to call it an oddity – you know, when something doesn’t fit in with it’s surroundings or it isn’t like the others of its kind. It’s odd – it doesn’t belong. Poor penguin.

Seriously, this bird is one in a zillion and we feel sorry for it? It’s had articles written about it for crying out loud! How many penguins can say that? It will go down in history and be studied for generations.… continue reading

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My name is Stefne Miller. I’m a wife. And a mom. And a daughter. And a friend. And a writer.

And I don’t relate to greatness . . . do you?

I was never the pretty girl. Or the smart one. Or the funny one. Or the one everyone wanted to hang out with. I was basically plain. Unexciting and unremarkable.

Yet, somehow I still managed to survive. I survived high school and all the mean girls. I survived college and all the perils that have to be maneuvered to walk away unscathed. And I survived my early twenties when I had no idea who in the world I was or what I wanted out of life.

When I was in college, people used to tell me that I needed to be a “flight attendant”. Now they may have meant it as a compliment but I always took it as – “all you’ve got going for you is a great personality, so don’t aim too high at becoming something else – you won’t”. Luckily, I didn’t pay those people much attention.

Even without the title of “great” or “special”, I eventually managed to find a man that would put up with me, have three wonderful children, gather a group of great friends around me and write a few books that have not only entertained, but impacted people’s lives.… continue reading

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This is a test post in Stefne Miller’s column, On Authenticity.

The first column will post on 4/9 and the 2nd Monday of each month.

… continue reading

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